This past week has been heavy.

• Charlie Kirk was murdered while speaking in Utah.
• A school shooting shook a community outside Denver.
• A woman was stabbed to death on a subway in North Carolina.
• And on Thursday, we remembered the tragic events of September 11.

Different stories. Same heartbreaking reality: when anger and hatred go unchecked, they often erupt into violence. These tragedies are reminders of what happens when we lose sight of emotional control, respect, and empathy.

More than ever, our culture needs a renewed focus on emotional intelligence (EQ), the soft skill that has the power to change how we live, work, and lead.

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters Now

Emotional intelligence is more than a buzzword. It’s the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions while also recognizing and respecting the emotions of others.

The four core components are:

• Self-Awareness: Recognizing our own emotions and triggers.
• Self-Management: Exercising restraint and choosing our responses.
• Social Awareness: Understanding the impact our words and actions have on others.
• Relationship Management: Building bridges instead of burning them.

Without EQ, debates turn into division, disagreements into disrespect, and frustrations into full-blown conflicts. With it, we have the tools to navigate challenges with clarity, respect, and influence.

The AIM Lens: Attitude, Image, and Management

In my coaching and training, I use the AIM Methodology to help leaders and teams build the habits that keep emotions and behaviors in check.

• Attitude: Our mindset shapes how we see others. Do we see an enemy or a fellow human being?
• Image: Our presence communicates before we ever say a word. Respect, kindness, and professionalism are choices.
• Management: True leadership starts with self-leadership—managing our words, our time, and our emotions.

When we live out AIM, it naturally extends into how we treat others. That’s where etiquette comes in, not as rigid rules, but as a practical expression of respect. I

t’s about kindness, creating connection, and valuing the humanity in others—even when we disagree.

Etiquette, Respect, and Self-Control

Etiquette isn’t about forks and napkins. It’s about the way we treat people. It’s about listening without interrupting, disagreeing without demeaning, and showing up with civility, even when we’re frustrated.

And perhaps the most underrated leadership trait of all is self-control. Restraint in moments of conflict is what separates leaders from agitators.

Freedom Comes With Responsibility

The First Amendment gives us the right to speak, debate, and protest. But freedom of speech comes with responsibility.

We must model what it looks like to:

• Disagree without destroying.
• Argue passionately without violence.
• Use our differences to grow stronger, not tear one another apart.



The good news is, we don’t have to wait for policies or politicians to change the culture. We can start where we are.

• At work: Model professionalism and kindness.
• At home: Teach respect and empathy to the next generation.
• In our communities: Listen with curiosity instead of judgment.

When enough of us commit to leading with emotional intelligence, we can turn the tide from hostility to healing.

Final Thought

This week reminded us of the cost of anger left unchecked. But it should also remind us of the power we each have to choose differently.

Our differences should not destroy us.
They should develop us—and help us build stronger communities.