Most leaders don’t walk into work thinking, “I can’t wait to ruin morale today.”

And yet… it happens.  We don't think of ourselves as villains, but we often unintentionally present ourselves that way. This happens because we weren't trained in how to be a leader and how to manage our own emotions.

Good leaders have the following skills:

Communication
Emotional Intelligence
Self-awareness

If leadership relied solely on technical skill, we’d have thriving workplaces everywhere. But companies don’t run on code, spreadsheets, or KPI dashboards; they run on people. and people are complex.

That’s where the Process Communication Model (PCM) gives us an advantage. It helps us understand:

• how people behave under stress
• what motivates different personalities
• how communication lands (or misfires)
• why conflict escalates or gets avoided
• how culture is shaped through daily interactions
• 
  

But before we get into solutions, we have to address the elephant in the boardroom:

A leader who lacks self-awareness can unintentionally discourage teams, harm performance, and erode culture.

Here are three common ways it happens—how it feels, why it matters, and what leaders can do differently.

1. The Conflict-Avoidant Leader (a.k.a. “If I ignore it, maybe it will disappear” leadership)

Picture this: Someone on the team keeps missing deadlines or skipping SOPs. Everyone knows. Everyone is frustrated. But the leader does nothing because they don’t want to “hurt feelings” or “make things awkward.”

What It Feels Like:

• High performers get resentful
• Standards get blurry
• Culture feels unfair
• Trust declines quiet
• 
  

What It Costs:
Organizations with unclear accountability experience:

• up to 50% higher turnover
• lower productivity
• increased conflict
• reduced engagement
  (Source: Gallup, 2025 Workplace Engagement Study)

Turnover alone costs 1.5x – 2x an employee’s salary (SHRM), and that doesn’t account for morale damage.

In PCM language, conflict-avoidance often comes from first-degree distress, especially for personalities who value harmony, connection, or structure.

They aren’t trying to be negligent. They’re trying to keep peace.

What to Do Instead:
✔ Address small issues quickly
✔ Use direct + kind communication
✔ Normalize feedback as support, not punishment
✔ Create consistent standards

Small corrections early prevent big problems later.

2. The “Moody” Leader (a.k.a. “How is the boss feeling today?” leadership)

Ever worked somewhere you had to scan the emotional weather before asking a question? Employees shouldn’t need an umbrella for their boss.

How It Shows Up:

• People “walk on eggshells.”
• Creativity shrinks
• Problems stay hidden
• Transparency dies
• Stress becomes a culture
• 
  

This destroys psychological safety, the #1 predictor of high-performing teams according to Google’s Project Aristotle.

What It Costs:
Low psychological safety leads to:

higher burnout

• lower innovation
• increased errors
• suppressed feedback
• faster turnover
  (Source: Harvard Business Review, 2024)
• 
  

PCM helps decode what’s actually happening:

When leaders enter second-degree distress, they shift from problem-solving to:

• attacking
• criticizing
• controlling
• blaming

Emotional outbursts may feel temporary to leaders, but they leave permanent dents in team trust.

What to Do Instead:

• Regulate before responding
• Ask curiosity-based questions
• Learn individual communication needs
• Accept feedback without retaliation

Employees notice everything.

3. The People-Pleaser Leader (a.k.a. “I just want everyone to be happy!” leadership)

These leaders often have the biggest hearts, and yet they create the biggest culture chaos. They avoid hard decisions, over-accommodate, or soften boundaries until no one knows what’s expected.

How It Feels:

• Processes get inconsistent
• Decisions feel unpredictable
• Priorities keep changing
• Accountability disappears
• Anxiety goes up

PCM teaches that people-pleasing is a distress behavior in personalities who crave belonging, harmony, or reassurance.

But here’s the business problem:

What It Costs:
Teams with inconsistent leadership experience:

• 40% lower clarity
• 30% lower engagement
• 23% higher turnover
  (Source: McKinsey & Company)

And yes, clients feel it too.

What to Do Instead:

• Clearly define expectations
• Separate kindness from compliance
• Make timely decisions (even unpopular ones)
• Prioritize long-term respect over short-term approval

Because leadership defined by likability rarely scales.

One-Size-Fits-All Leadership Fails

Most leaders discourage teams accidentally because they assume everyone is motivated by the same things. However, PCM teaches otherwise.

Different personalities need different:

• communication channels
• psychological needs
• recognition styles
• stress responses
• decision environments

Some need autonomy, others need details, others need connection, and others need structure. When leaders fail to recognize individual needs, people disengage from the workplace experience.

So What’s the Solution? Awareness.

The best leaders I coach don’t try to be perfect. They have learned to meet people where they are and bring them forward in a style that is conducive to them.

They’ve learned to:
✔ recognize their own distress patterns
✔ regulate before they respond
✔ communicate with intention
✔ meet the psychological needs of others
✔ create safe performance cultures

When leaders do this, teams feel:
✔ Seen (my needs matter)
✔ Safe (I can speak without punishment)
✔ Valued (my work is recognized)
✔ Challenged (growth exists)
✔ Respected (my dignity stays intact)

It’s amazing what happens when people don’t dread Monday.

Culture is shaped by how leaders behave when they’re under pressure.

And that behavior is learned.

PCM gives leaders a blueprint that combines:

• psychology
• communication
• motivation
• emotional intelligence

It’s practical, it’s science-based, and it works in the real world.

  Leadership is about presence. And presence leads to influence.

If you're struggling with communication or culture issues in your organization, complete the contact form and let's talk.